Thursday, 6 September 2018

Well, look who's back!


It's been such a long time since I last wrote anything; I somehow managed to take an accidental 6 month break from blogging (I actually half wrote one post within this time...and I'm not sure whether I'm still going to post it or not).

The past 6 months have actually been the worst of my life, a lot has happened all on top of each other and has definitely slowly broken me. A lot of it has to do with work, and don't get me wrong I LOVE my job, it is actually a major contributor to the person I am today and 100% when I started 4 years ago I could have never seen myself as I am today but the past few months have been hard, I was pushed to my literal breaking point, and even though I have talked it through and it has got considerably better, I still feel a little...the only way I can describe it is...lost. I count myself as quite a happy person (I know, me?) but seriously I do, I put it down to growing up on US sitcoms that I will always try and see the more positive/funny side to life but recently its hard.

I've been stress eating SO much, which is really hindering my diet, I haven't gained much weight but I'm not losing it anymore which honestly really upsets me....because I've made so much progress within the last year and a bit but I can just see it all going to crap which I really really do not want to happen. I find it harder when people are telling me how I well I'm doing, because they don't see me binging on sweets after every crappy shift at work, they don't know how much I'm struggling to get everything back on track. It's got to the point where I just want to hide away from everyone until I'm fully happy with how I look/how I'm feeling but I'm pushing myself to actually go out and see my friends even when I'm feeling like utter rubbish and the thought of socialising makes me want to curl up in a ball.

I feel like I need to read Harry Judd's 'Get Fit Get Happy' again because that really inspired me last time and I need to be inspired again.

But yeah, a truthful yet slightly depressing run down of where I've been the past 6 months, I'm going to try and start getting back into this and overall just focus on my ultimate goal of going travelling, I'm working to save up the money to go and honestly its the only thing I've ever truly wanted to do with my life.

So I'll hopefully see you again in another post soon.

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